LOT OF HOT AIR:
If your dealership serves the good folk of Hampstead Heath, you have my sympathies. I read that the noted thespian Tom Conti has been having a pop at people using leaf blowers adjacent to his ‘£15 million home complete with ballroom, home cinema and roof terrace’. “It’s a terrible noise,” he says, “and not helpful for the creative juices. There’s a perfectly good solution, use a bloody broom”. Sorry Tom, your des-res is usually described as being in ‘the leafy suburb of Hampstead’ (the clue is in the name). And have you tried using a broom to clear leaves? Even more worrying is the quote from Gary Shaw, Hon Sec of the Hampstead Garden Suburbs Residents Association who said this week, “We are approaching the time of year when you cannot use your garden on a summer’s day, because as soon as one blower stops on one side, another starts on the other”. Tell me, has global warming created a micro climate in Hampstead? In ‘normal’ Britain, leaves don’t normally descend downwards until November.
THE ‘X’ HAS IT:
David Cameron has one. Jeremy Corbyn has one too. Boris, Piers Morgan, Katie Price, my local publican and the bloke who calls the balls on the National Lottery all have one. What? A short stubby pencil to create a perfect ‘X’ on 23 June. It is billed as the most important decision of our life. Hours, days, months have been filled with passionate arguments from the Inners and Outers. This week, the nation’s purveyors of all things mechanical for tending the land, manicuring our sportsgrounds and beautifying our gardens (except in Hampstead Heath), have had their say (as you will have read elsewhere in this newsletter). But when all is said and done, the decision will come down to you, me and the rest as to where we inscribe that ‘X’. My guess is that no amount of polling can predict the position of that ‘X’ which will, for many people, only be made with stubby pencil in hand . .
WORTH A PUNT?
Missed out on the 5000-1 bet on Leicester City and looking to unearth another betting gem? I see similar odds are being offered for the 2026 FIFA World Cup being held in – Antarctica. Apparently the odds were only 100-1 before Sepp Blatter got the heave-ho. Mind you Qatar (hot, hot, hot – and desolate) as a double with Antarctica (freezing, freezing, freezing – and desolate) might be worth a punt. And if you read that Allett Mowers' Austin Jarrett’s new ultra-marathon challenge (after the Sahara, the Amazon and the Arctic Circle) is to be across Antarctica, then sit up and take note . . .!
CORDLESS PUSH:
IT used to be Flymo and Qualcast slugging it out in the national press. Now a new kid on the block (relatively) is taking full page adverts for its cordless mowers. G-Mech (not the Irish golfer) has been dabbling in garden equipment for some while but has made it name in the vacuum cleaner market as a rival to Dyson. Now they are really pushing their cordless rotary in a series of attractive, eye-catching, clear and concise full-page ads in the national press. Dealers may worry about this direct sell approach, but if it enhances the profile of mowers in general and cordless in particular, then they can feed off the exposure.
The pollsters had a wake-up call 12 months ago, so nothing can be taken for granted these days. Best quote came some years ago from Spike Milligan, "One of these days, the Don't Knows will get in, and then where will we be?"