MORE SPIN THAN SHANE WARNE Weatherman need to accentuate the positive . . .
WITH most TV and radio weather forecasters taking a lie down in darkened roooms following Drought-gate, Deluge-gate, Blizzard-gate and Where-is-Spring-gate, the head of PR at the Met Office is taking charge this weekend.
In a special Easter weather message for garden machinery dealers, Mr Watt A Spinner told Service Dealer Update:
The temperature of 4C - 5C this weekend is only 4-5 degrees below norm, whereas last year on this day it was over 25C in some parts of the country - a ridiculous 20C (or 400%) warmer. So it is all pretty normal.
We are not forecasting much, if any, rain. Any moist stuff will float prettily to ground, creating a lovely white backdrop to those shivering daffodils.
This weekend in 1952, the Boat Race was rowed in an absolute blizzard. We are not forecasting any snow for Putney or Mortlake for this weekend’s annual row-off.
On this weekend In 1901, the snow was so thick on the ground for the Grand National that the jockeys wanted the race postponed - a request rejected by the stewards. The trainer of Grudon promptly sent out for two pounds of butter which he applied to the horse's hooves to prevent them clogging with snow - and Grudon won!
Young cricketers out practicing this weekend for the cricket season which starts in a couple of weeks, can use all three long sleeved sweaters knitted for them by their Aunties for Christmas presents.
Your showrooms will be populated by knowledgeable enthusiasts, not by hordes of would-be gardeners asking inane questions (Do you have a blade for my Briggs & Stratton mower?)
Mufflers will sell well - as will gloves and scarves if you’ve second-guessed the weather
It has been medically proven that hot Bovril is better for you than a cold beer.
You can gloat at the superstores for stocking mowers to the rafters because it says Easter on the calendar, knowing that when the season does start mowers will have been replaced by Christmas decorations (by-passing barbecues which were a disaster last year)
Lastly, you should be able to enjoy Easter in the knowledge that the real challenges lay ahead!
